Kindergarten-Me

Yesterday I went to visit my kindergarten teacher. I was in her first class at Julia Green and she still teaches there. It was a little strange to be in my old elementary school. It's been re-done: the library is in a new place; there are windows and new tables in the cafeteria, and there's a whole new wing. I chatted with her while her students were at lunch. I went with her to pick them up. She introduced me to them and they all waved and said hi. It was adorable.

Driving away from there I thought about myself as a kindergartener. If I could talk to kindergarten-me, what would I tell her? One thing came to my mind immediately: Your parents will be okay; they won't get divorced.

My parents went through a very rough period when I was in 3rd grade. They did an in-house separation for about 9 months. I have a distinct memory of walking through church and wondering who I would live with if my parents got divorced.

I find it strange that this was the only thing I thought to tell kindergarten-me, especially since none of this would take place for a number of years.

Interesting.

Potential Changes

My son is alseep.
My husband and I are relaxing together.
God is good.
Life is good.

Tomorrow we're going to look at a couple of houses tomorrow. I'm nervous and excited. We are looking for a place with enough bedrooms for everyone as well as a dedicated guest room and an office for Chris. One house has a screened-in porch and a big deck on a lot of acres. It would be so neat to take it and make it exactly what we want. The other is more modern and has an unfinished basement. The idea of selling our house is a bit overwhelming, especially during the summer, but we need to trust that God will take care of us and that He's in charge of this situation.

I'm looking forward to this potential new chapter in our lives. We'll see how tomorrow goes. Fingers crossed.

Ministry: What it is and what it should be

I am a teacher. Teaching is a part of me. I cannot imagine my life without teaching. I believe that teaching is something God has called me into and that is an area where my gifts lie. I work with 85 students a semester. I spend 90 minutes a day with them. I know what their favorite colors are, what kind of music they like, where they hang out on the weekends. I listen to them when they speak. I offer advice when asked. I make sure they are alright if they seem off. However, what I do is not considered ministry. Not officially, anyway. This is upsetting to me. In many ways I minister to more students in a day than some do in a year (or more) of youth ministry.

Unfortunately, I believe, because teaching is not recognized as ministry, many excellent teachers are going elsewhere because they feel they've been "called into ministry" and teaching isn't considered ministry by the church. I firmly believe that if the church recognized teaching as ministry and encouraged more people to become teachers, the world would quickly become a different place.

My prayer is that the church's definition of ministry will broaden to include those who are doing ministry exactly where they are and where God has called them to be. Then, I also believe, that then the kingdom of God will grow faster and larger than any of us could ever imagine.

Rob Bell

I'll admit it. I am a Rob Bell fan. There are not many people (less than five) who can hold my attention for a 45 minute sermon. He is one. I've listened to some his sermons, seen multiple Noomas, read his books, and heard him speak in person. He seems like the real deal. He deals with hard topics and always makes me think.

I heard/read a lot of stuff about his newest book, Love Wins, which recently came out. I purchased this book and devoured it in just a few days. This book opened my eyes and changed my thinking in a lot of ways. (Now, to be honest, I've been in a place where I haven't been BFFs with God. And this book sparked something in me. I'm searching for answers and asking more questions than I have at probably any other point in my life.)

A basic overview:
-Heaven is here and now. We need to be a part of the kingdom of God where we are.
-Hell is a very real place. It is somewhere that we create for ourselves. Is it a place that people go when they die? Yes. Is it where those people stay forever? Depends on your reading of the Greek; Bell would say no.
-God gets what He wants. The Bible says that God wants none to perish and that all people will praise Him. God also allows us to have free will. Because of free will, God will never force anyone to worship Him. Bell argues that God's love will ultimately draw all people to Him. Love wins.

I have believed for a long time that we, as Christians, need to be living out the kingdom of God where we are. We need to be serving those in our community, loving the people around us, seeking to tell others about God, and working to right the wrongs we see/experience.

I've also wondered how hell works. I know that there are consequences for not choosing God, but forever? For all eternity? What about those who have never heard about Jesus? I see God as being full of love and grace. Each of us is created in His image; and He would really allow people to go to hell? The idea that there are (essentially) second chances in hell is freeing. It takes the pressure off. It means I can live my life seeking to bring heaven to my world and not stress about after-death part.

And alongside of this book, I've been reading a book about God in the Old Testament. YHWH is a God in relationship: with Israel, with humans, and with creation. Brueggeman, the author, states that we were created to listen to and obey God, we will inevitably fail, and restoration with happen (it's a cycle that all three groups follow). I firmly believe that the YHWH of the Old Testament is the God of the New Testament. His personality and character did not change. He is still in relationship with each of us. And, because He's God, that relationship can continue after death. (That last sentence was me, not Brueggeman.)

After finishing Love Wins, I read 10-15 reviews of the book. Many reviewers claimed Bell is a heretic and a universalist; I do not believe that either of these statements are true. (I am also very proud of Bell and the fact that he has not lashed out at these people.) But it seems to me that these individuals are comparing Bell's writings to their personal theology. Many are not willing to have an open mind about what he says. Granted, some of them have some valid points, but it upsets me that Bell is being attacked and labeled for something that provides hope, grace, and peace.

I'm sorry this post is long, and I'm not even sure that it makes sense. I'll summarize:
-I'm not sure Rob Bell is entirely off-base with his thinkings about hell.
-People have attacked Bell based on their theology. They seem unwilling to believe something that doesn't fit neatly into their pre-conceived ideas. This is sad, upsetting, and disappointing.

(This is one of those issues that I need to remain anonymous about. If people knew that I read, and liked this book, the consequences would be significant. I wish that Christians did a better job of dialoguing.)

I Am Anonymous

I'm not very good at blogging. I have such good intentions, but they don't always come to fruition. I am a wife, mother, and teacher. I enjoy reading. I also enjoy good conversation.

Because of what I do I sometimes feel like I have to keep my thoughts, beliefs, and opinions close to my vest. Not doing so might mean significant consequences for some of the things I am involved in. I may not remain anonymous forever, but at least for a while.

Here's some context.
-I am a follower of Christ who is still working out my salvation.
-My husband is amazing. I often feel like I somehow tricked him into marrying me (he says I didn't).
-My child is ridiculously adorable. I love how he approaches everything with a sense of wonderment.
-I teach at a large public high school in the Bible Belt.